The miracle of one foot in front of the other, in the right direction,
is that one day you look around, and all the scenery is different.
-Laura Markham, Ph.D
Today I'm thinking about baby steps.
My little guy (not my hubtographer -- he's my big guy. I'm talking the one I gave birth to) was a late walker. So late that before he took his first steps I was starting to think he would never walk or that there was something wrong. Nope. One day out of the blue he finally put one foot in front of the other. And then another. When he had decided to and was ready. This mama is relieved to report that he now not only walks but runs, jumps, dances, and climbs like a champ.
My journey the last few years has been similar. For a long time I felt like I was crawling in life, not living it the way I wanted or expressing myself the way my heart longed to. I desired to change but I was not ready, either to make the decision or do the work. I felt disconnected from who I really was and light years from what I wanted out of life. I wanted to run, jump, dance, dress, live the way I wanted to and like no one was watching, but I was slowed down by an abundance of both material and non-material things I didn't want in my life and stifled by self-loathing, insecurity, guilt, anxiety, fear of failure and judgment.
Then one day a gorgeous set of luxury lingerie entered my life. I loved everything about it. The way it looked and felt. The way I looked and felt wearing it. It made me proud of my curves and not afraid to show them off. I wanted more of that in my life and to feel worthy of it and knew I needed to figure out how to make that happen. That day I made up my mind to make a big change. To surround myself with beautiful things that made me happy (like luxe, handmade lingerie), to earn and be deserving of them (but not owed or entitled to them, by the way), and not let fear and insecurities rule my life. I was ready to embrace the change and hard work that was about to come.
So the decision happened overnight. But the work did not.
It started with baby steps. Some were messy, some were bigger than others, some were missteps. But confidence and progress came through action. Before I knew it, I was looking better, feeling more joyful, had surrounded myself with an abundance of gorgeous things, and made a habit of presenting myself in a more elegant, feminine manner which made me feel more elegant, feminine, and authentic. I even asked my husband to begin photographing me in my latest lingerie and swimsuit loves so I could share them and this feeling with others. And that is how Sun & Sera was born.
One of the changes I made was what I wore beach and poolside. I had always longed to have the self-worth and conviction to wear pieces that reflected my personal style (feminine and sexy), but my previous mindset was convincing me that I wasn’t worth the effort. I used to cover up like there were 500 cameras on me at all times and a panel of my worst critics (me included) analyzing my every move, dimple, unflattering angle, and lame attire every time I caught a whiff of salty air or chlorine. While my newfound joie de vivre and taste for luxury finery didn't mean I was automatically ready to sport a haute microbikini on my next trip to la playa, it did mean that I was done wearing ill-fitting, cheap and/or frumpy swimwear. I was ready to start dressing the part I wanted to be playing: a confident, feminine, sexy, comfortable, and relaxed mamacita.
My first baby step was throwing out every single board short, skirted swimsuit, and matronly coverup I owned. I took them straight to Goodwill so I wouldn't be tempted to turn to them on an off day.
The next step was finding a flattering and comfortable suit that was a little sexier than I usually wore. The sleek one-piece suit from Becca I'm wearing today fit the bill perfectly. It's feminine and extremely flattering and the adjustable straps make for a perfect fit for my long torso. The perforated overlay with cutout sides and plunging neckline up the seductive factor. It's:
- sexy enough to make me feel like a babe while sipping cocktails poolside,
- flattering, so I don't have to constantly tug, readjust, fidget, or feel the need to cover up,
- comfy enough to do cannon balls off the diving board without fear of nip slip or cooch on the loose, and
- practical enough to wear to the kids' swim lessons.
In other words: perfección.
The boost of confidence, inspiration, and joy I got from wearing this suit led me to experiment with sexier and more revealing suits every time I went swimwear shopping. I'm proud to say I now hit the beach in itty bitty bikinis without batting an eyelash these days. All it took was deciding I was done trying to hide and then taking steps (one maillot and two piece at a time) to build up my confidence. Look at me now...
Deep down we all know that everything we desire is not going to be found in indecision, fear and laying on the couch all day. Make your decision, one at a time begin accumulating experiences and releasing fears, and before you know it your scenery will look a lot more like your dreams. Mine is looking like soaking up sunsets on a warm beach, surrounded by my favorite people in the world, and rocking my sexy swimsuit a lot more these days. And that's all thanks to deciding to prioritize a lifestyle of pleasure, luxury and self-care and then taking steps each day to make that life my reality, starting with dressing in a way that reflected who I aspired to be.
When will you take your first baby steps?
What I'm Wearing
Becca 'La Boheme' One-Piece Swimsuit (out of stock, very similar here)
Where I'm At